• They’re not mine, but His.

    Date: 2010.05.30 | Category: faith, parenting | Tags: ,,,

    Today I spent an hour at the hospice holding a beautiful 3 week old boy who probably only has a few more days on this earth.  Needless to say on the drive home I praised God through my tears for my two healthy children.  It really got me thinking about what it means to be a parent.  About what an honor it is to be entrusted with the care of these children for however long God places them in our care.  It’s so easy to think that they are ours- to forget that they are really on loan to us from God.  To take for granted their health and the fact that they’ll live long, successful lives.  But in this life there are no guarantees.  We don’t know how long they’ll be with us, whether they’ll have good health or bad, if they’ll marry or have children, if they will be successful, if they’ll be happy.  The worst to ponder is that they may not choose to follow Christ.  I can only do my part- teach them about Jesus, pray over them, surround them with His love.  In the end I must leave them in His hands and trust that He loves them even more than I do.  Trust that He will call each of them to Him in His own perfect way.  And so today I am reminded to pray and to love and to laugh with my children.  I was reminded to be a little more patient and a lot more intentional.  And to hold them a little more loosely in my hands.

    I was also reminded that God knows better than I.  I have no answers.  I am ignorant of His ways.  Like Job’s friends, my explanations are empty and false.  Like Job I must say “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”  Only God knows why He allowed a baby to come into this world who will not survive.  Why He allows sickness and heartache to plague His people.  But the Truth I do know is this…

    Psalm 139:13-16

    For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

    I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

    My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.

    When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.
    All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.