• Date Night!

    Date: 2010.06.12 | Category: marriage | Tags: ,,,

    I’m a firm believer in the importance of marriage first children second.  The funny thing is- I’ve discovered that I haven’t been doing a very good job of living it.  The urgent cries of my children often come before the silent needs of my husband.  The pile of laundry, to do list, and stack of dishes are always waiting for me.  I’m tired and sleep is beckoning me.  Who has the money or time for a date night?  Who has the energy to be understanding and forgiving when there is so much to be done?  But what kind of example does this set for my children?  If I don’t teach them the value of marriage, the need to respect and cherish your spouse, the joy that comes from investing in each other- who will?

    Anyway, Chris and I went on our first date night since Kate was born last night.  Believe me- 4 months is too long between dates!  We were giddy all day in anticipation.  I found that we both went out of our way to be kinder, to do something nice for the other, to be a little more romantic.  Our date wasn’t fancy, we went to dinner, Target and a coffee shop.  But it was a wonderful time to reconnect with each other.  We sipped coffee and played cards until they kicked us out and the whole drive home we talked about what it will take to do it more often.  How can we date each other at home?  We came up with several ideas and I hope we’ll start doing them regularly.  We could easily play a  game or give each other a massage or use our pool table once or twice a week after the kids are in bed.  It would be free and easy to do.

    I also love the concept of “parent time” each day.  15-20 minutes after the work day when mom and dad go to another room and debrief.  Review the events of the day and talk about whatever is on your mind.  Certainly even my two small children can do without my attention for 20 minutes!  And yet dinner needs to be cooked so the kids can have baths so they can go to bed so I can go to bed!  Somehow it just never seems to happen.  Well that’s it- I’m going to make it happen.  Somehow someway!

    What do you and your spouse do to invest in each other?  How do you keep the romance alive?  How do you demonstrate to your children that your marriage is the most important relationship in the house?  I’d love to hear your ideas!